Wednesday, July 8, 2015

The Best Clubs in Birmingham.

How better to follow a blog on the best pubs in Birmingham. How better to follow a trip to one of Birmingham's fine drinking establishments than going to where the floors are stickier, the music louder and the birds plentiful. I'm not an expert, but I have frequented enough of these places to tell my share of stories. Follow up blogs on this subject are a possibility.

Best for: Rockers
I guess I'm just a bit to much of a pussy to hang out at Scruffy Murphy's. With Teenculture a distant memory and Subculture long gone, Uprawr has become my habitat. The Asylum, where the night is held, is a goth's wet dream. A sticky, sweaty, beer soaked extension of every teenage emo's bedroom. With more booze and much dirtier toilets. The walls are plastered with posters from old Kerrang! issues, signed memorabilia and various shrines to rock and metals greatest bands (and some of it's shit ones). Ultimately it doesn't matter how KVLT the place looks, the vibe is ruined, because at some point after 12 you will always hear 'Fancy by Iggy Azalea' or if your lucky an old Arctic Monkeys track. The music is mostly the old pop punk, emo, and nu metal tracks you forgot how much you loved. On the plus side, the cocktails are surprisingly decent, the beer cheap (even if it's a bit shit), and I've not seen any drugs when I've been there. On the down side the moshpitting can be downright violent (if infrequent) and it's a very difficult place to pull. Not to mention hard to find and hard to find your way back from. But if you want to get fucked up and (if you're lucky) free merch, it's a good place to go.

Best For: Indie Kids
The old Snobs was a sticky hellhole. Unwelcoming, weird smelling, cramped and barely kept together by it's scaffolding. Yet it held a special place in every brummie's hearts. The new one is pretty much exactly the same. Yet it's got a bar and grill during the day, an extra floor to boogie on. It's got more drinks, more space, yet for all the new developments I feel the soul has not been lost. It's the same old Snobs, just a bit better. The tunes are mostly the stuff you'll hear on the radio, expect to hear Vance Joy, Bastille, (old) Mumford's but with a few Peace, and Swim Deep songs too. First time I went to Snobs I High fived Austin of Swim Deep while piggybacking my mate, sound-tracked by King City. Last time I made out with a stranger for about half an hour, got her number, and spent the rest of the night, wondering about in a bewildered drunken daze. I can't wait to go back.

Best for: Ravers
The only time I've been to The Rainbow Warehouse was back in 2010 when I saw Mr Hudson, supported by Tenny Ten (A.k.a Ten Shott) and Tinie Tempah, who was just on the cusp of becoming a superstar. Never actually been to one of their club nights, so I'm probably an unreliable narrator. but i remember it being a cool place, and judging by the really long queues of people I've seen outside, it must be a pretty great place.

Best For: Homosexuals 
I had a girlfriend once. She was obsessed with Birmingham's gay culture, and jackin' house scene. Of the clubs she dragged me into I vaguely remember Missing, which is small but with cool house tunes. The Loft Lounge which is more of a posh pub than a club, and a genuinely nice place to be. I also vaguely remember The Nightingale from my first ever night clubbing, The night she broke my heart. Despite that though I loved the place, it had loads of space, an old school arcade, good choice of booze, loads of friendly people, and err drag queens.

Best for: Rastafarians 
If you love Marijuana, and I mean really love marijuana then there is a club. A club which is sort of in Digbeth, yet nowhere near the Custard Factory. You are looking for a tiny graffiti covered office block. Entry is only about £5 and inside you will find a sea of weed smoke. I was the only non smoking and only dancing guy there. Even the DJ's were smoking it. It was Hip Hop night yet I didn't recognise a single song. There was live graffiti (I believe it was Hoakser, I might be wrong) and most importantly live music. A group of local MC's and a guitarist took turns to play tunes and rap over the beats. At first I felt a bit scared of the place, but I left feeling that it was actually pretty special. A club less focused on making huge sums of money from cheap beer, than supporting Birmingham's scene. I have decided to not mention the place's name, lets just say that it's Birmingham's best reggae club.

A new club opens on the 17th, Check it out

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