Another interview with Crime and Punishment 2011

My 3^rd interview with Crime and Punishment 2011 took place in the smoking area of Subside bar in Birmingham on the 23^rd march. The interview took place after CPK’s opening set supporting Eat Me. This was their first ever show with their new drummer Sam. Much like all interviews with CPK large sections of it were both unprintable and indecipherable, with many surreal turns that are not relevant to the band or their music, not to mention the sounds of other bands sound-checking in the background. I’ve done my best…

Subside wagwan! Hey guys, beat town blog coming at you like a rapture! Sorry guys I must say that every time I start one of these

Dan: Why will you get sued? Will my man come and get yer!

No it’s my sign on line, you know because I get benefits every time I do these things

Dan: I used to get benefits, I didn’t have a job, lets crack on shall we!

What would you say that you sound like to someone who’s never heard your music?

Joey: 7 layers of hell, Sort of Sleaford mods, but kind of more road and with more shouting (later Joey describes the band as ‘post music’)

Dan: seriously we’re like heavy grime mixed with hardcore influences

I thought ‘Grimecore’ was a good description

Dan: I liked that but definitely not Grindcore or grindr, or grimer,

-everyone tries to pronounce ‘Grimecore’-

Me (to Sam): how does it feel to be in a band with these absolute nutters?

Sam: I like them, I liked their music before anyway so it was quite natural coming into the band, it wasn’t a shock,

Dan: when we wanted to get a drummer, Sam was the first person that came into our heads. We were playing curbstomp and we were like ‘Damn! We need a drummer. And then we were like Sam would be cool and now here we are.

Sam: it’s all come naturally really.

I do like some of the little drum fills that you’ve added to some of the older songs, I think it works pretty well

Dan: were going to work on all our old songs apart from two, eventually I think

Joey: we reckon nefarious will be the next one to be cut

Dan says ‘you reckon?’ like 100 times

Me to Sam: Okay so are you in in flatline by the way?

Sam: No I’m in Bathtub,

Me: Okay it’s just I thought they were pretty much the same band

Joey: that’s racist!

Jason: All guitars look the same!

Dan: tell it to Jimmy Page!

Okay so How’s the album coming along? Any Deets?

Dan: we have like 6 songs written already to record and 4 songs ready.  We’re not putting deadlines on ourselves. We’ve put self-inflicted deadlines before and it hasn’t worked.

Joey: were not putting deadlines on ourselves because we don’t own a calendar

Dan: between the entire profit that we get from this gig were going to buy a calendar

Subside have free calendars but they’re all last years 

Joey: we can work to last years!

Dan: our band is literally 6 years in the past! But seriously the album’s going well, were just vibing and just doing it as it comes. Jason’s doing all the beats, were going to get our external guitarist to put some guitar on it.  I think we’re all going to have to get a bit more creative, because now that Jake’s left. Me and joe must do more of the writing now.

Dan and Joe talk about fish and chips for 5 minutes.

Okay so back on track. What do you want to call the album?

Joey: Sleaford Mods number 2

Dan: Our album is called FUBAR. Which stands for Fucked up beyond all recognition or flipping uteri Barry has roids!

Sam: Fucking under Barbeques, extremely realistic!

Dan: Who the hell spells extremely with an a!  Scottish people! Ach! Ach!TREMLEY!

Joey: That is so racist

So what do you want to do for the album cover? Have you got any ideas for that?

Joey: we’re all going to like, take turns cumming on Dan’s face

Yuck! So Dan’s face would be FUBAR buy the end of it! Make sure you shave off that beard first.

Dan: I would like something that would look cool on every kind of clothing ever so I can get rich.

This section of the interview has had to be cut, partly because it was so difficult to type down but also because it features several mentions of other bands that I’m sure CPK don’t want to start beef with. But also, features some revelations. For example Sam hasn’t heard of Crash Bandicoot, Dan’s ‘trying not to be fat as shit anymore’ and CPK are now a ‘straight edge band’

Dan: are there any-more proper questions? Joe! What’s the most embarrassing thing that hasn’t happened to you and why?

Joey: that hasn’t happened to me?  I don’t know erm.. I’ve never shat myself so.. that’s something that could have been embarrassing that hasn’t happened.

I was recording on a cassette tape one day and I accidentally recorded myself shart

Joey: have you still got that footage because we’d like to use it!?

I’ve still got the tape somewhere…

Joey: I think we’ll sample it!

Jason: I think we’ve found an album cover!

Dan: So basically we’ve got an album coming out, it’s gonna be sick. Come to our shows buy our T-shirts, Sam’s in the band, Jake’s not, go listen to J-Dead. Hellyeah!